It all begins with an innocent crush in 5th grade, then turns into something more serious during high school, until finally escalating to true love in college. This is what I planned my life would look like. I remember being a senior in high school dreaming of the day when I would finally venture off to a university where I would meet my future husband. We would fall madly in love, be engaged my senior year (he is two years older BT-dubs), and marry in June the summer after I graduate. Of course we would be the best of friends before any of this happened, meaning hang out quite a bit during my freshman and sophomore years.
If only. This plan has come and gone. Not saying I haven't met the love of my life, maybe I have, who knows. What I am saying, however, is that I cannot plan events such as this to happen. No one can. God tells us to give Him the control and power for a reason; that reason is so that women will not drive themselves to the point of insanity trying to create the perfect life. Now there will always be those certain women who refuse to give up the control. I take pity on them. They miss out on the uncertainty of life. While this can be a seemingly terrifying aspect of human nature, God remains faithful and does disappoint us. He may not always give us what we want, but He does seem to meet the innermost desires of our hearts. With all that said, a girl can still dream of how her life may turn out; that's perfectly acceptable in my book...guilty as charged.
My mind has beein stirring lately with these thoughts and musings. I find myself daily pondering what the future holds. Will I get married? When will I meet "the one?" Have I already met him? What does he look like? Will our children resemble him or myself? Where will we live? Now, some may declare me mentally unstable. Maybe I am. So sue me. I do not want to give the impression that I sit there for hours a day thinking about such things. I personally think it's pretty common for girls my age to experience these kind of thoughts and feelings.
A friend recently informed me of a "husband journal." A girl writes letters to her husband before she has even met him. These letters can be about anything topic, such as a thank you letter to God for placing him in her life to a note explaining her worry and fear that she will never find true love. I am considering starting one myself. Perhaps this is due to my obsession with chivalry and older, much simpler times. Or it could be due to sheer boredom over Christmas break. Later on in life, possibly hours before walking down the aisle, the bride will present the completed journal to her husband. My prayer in doing so is that it will present a completely different side of the lady to the groom. It couldnt' hurt, right? :)
I have spent the last two nights watching Pride & Prejudice...by myself, but that's beside the point. It is, in my opinion, one of the greatest movies of all time. I stand mesmerized at the way Mr. Darcy loves Elizabeth Bennett. It is the definition of true love, sacrifice, and comprimise. Goodness I just love it. My favorite part of the whole movie is a scene that occurs at the very end. Mr. Darcy and Lizzy are sitting by the water. They discuss various names for him to call her, only to agree on several. I refuse to say anything more for fear of ruining the scene. Here you go. Enjoy. :)
I recently came across these vows and fell in love with them. They speak volumes of true love, sacrifice, and comprimise, mixed with a little humor of course. They read:
"I will kill the spiders, I will share my fries with you when you're finished all yours and are still hungry. I won't ever pop my collar. I will never be rude to your tummy when I hear it growl and gurgle. I promise to bend down and reply respectfully. I will eat the mushrooms when we order the supreme pizza. I will kiss the papercuts and the door-slammed finger and the counter-bumped hip. I'll try my hardest not to get annoyed when you whisper questions and comments during movies. I will be the big spoon. I will let you win at wrestling, sometimes. Other times I will not. I will pull when you want and tease you when you don't. I will send you random texts and leave you silly gifts, not on schedule. Just whenever I want to. Whenever I think you need one, or seven. I will check your tire pressure. And remind you to take your car in. I will hold your hand. I will love you. I will love you. I will love you."
My absolute favorite part is again the very end. Repetition gets me every time.
I pray for your break to be filled with peace and blessings and for your Christmas to bring joy and peace.
Until next time,
i have a husband journal!
ReplyDeletei write him and tell him about big things happening in my life and things i think he will enjoy reading that i might forget by the time i meet him.
but i mainly write to him when i'm really lonely and tell him how much i pray for him even though i don't know him yet.
it's helped a lot. :]